you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
