Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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