just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I did not marry a roomba.
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