I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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