HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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