Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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