I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize