Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
