What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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