garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
