You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
More tranny stories later!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
