Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
