i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
