Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
