That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
