She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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