what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
