And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
