that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
