Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
