i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
