she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
