Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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