Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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