We're facebook friends in real life
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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