My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
