Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
