Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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