it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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