what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
