whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
