He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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