This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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