I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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