those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
