So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my being single is dangerous.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
