I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Even the bartender felt bad for me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
