I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
