You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
