its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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