redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
