I'm jealous of your bromance
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
