when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
