i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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