Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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