i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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