She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
