It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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