If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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