Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
